Follow Your Heart
by darkrose0510
Summary: When the Cullens left in New Moon, Bella knew of the Denalis already... what if she felt a pull? To the Denalis, to the Cullens, to Edward?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I'm having immense troubles getting this to post, so hurrah if you can see it. I haven't written anything for ages, but this just came pouring out of me as I was rereading New Moon, it starts with a few paragraphs right out of New Moon, just after Edward left.**

**There's more chapters, and I'll post them when I can get the story manager thingy to behave and not throw constant errors.**

**Hope you like it, I, unfortunately, do not own Twilight or any of the characters... just adjusting their storyline to suit my whims :)**

He was gone.

With shaky legs, ignoring the fact my action was useless, I followed him into the forest. The evidence of his path had disappeared instantly. There were no footprints, the leaves were still again, but I walked forward without thinking, I could not do anything else. I had to keep moving. If I stopped looking for him, it was over.

Love, life, meaning... over.

I walked and walked. Time made no sense as I pushed slowly though the thick undergrowth. It was hours passing, but also only seconds. Maybe it felt like time had frozen because the forest looked the same no matter how far I went. I started to worry that I was traveling in a circle, a very small circle at that, but I kept going. I stumbled often, and, as it grew darker and darker, I fell often, too.

But I kept getting up, it didn't matter. The stumbles, the falls, scratches on my hands and knees, none of it mattered, I just had to keep going. I had to find him. I'd seen it in his eyes, for only a moment, but it was there, behind the mask. He still wanted me, always. I kept his eyes in my mind, leading me through the dark, the cold. Only vaguely aware of where I was, and where I was heading, I trudged on.

As I passed over the hills I didn't look back at Forks, though something in the back of my mind suggested that I should. I could go back, my truck would be quicker. But I didn't, couldn't, stop. Not even for that, I had to keep going.

The forest seemed to be lightening, I noticed, whether the trees were thinner here, or it was morning, I couldn't really tell. I vaguely remembered crossing some roads - the highway? - I had no idea where I was, where I'd been, where I was going - not really - the direction was pulling me though, where he'd gone. Like some invisible thread was gradually pulling me in. As the day brightened I fell less, but still stumbled just as much, I could feel the tiredness in me, but kept going.

By the time night fell again I was miles away - in both senses - I could only see his eyes, that look, behind the mask. I had to see him again, there simply was no other option.

Finally, I tripped over something - in the black of the strange woods, I had no idea what caught my foot - and I stayed down, I rolled onto my side, so that I could breathe, and curled up on the wet bracken.

As I lay there, surrounded by his eyes, I had a feeling more time was passing than I realized. I couldn't remember how long it had been since he stood before me, a day? two? It was night now though, and so very dark. Surely, as a rule, some little bit of moonlight would filter down through the clouds, through the chinks in the canopy of trees, and find the ground.

Not tonight. Tonight the sky was utterly black, Perhaps there was no moon tonight - a lunar eclipse, a new moon.

I could still see his eyes in the black as I lay there - I barely even heard them calling.

* * *

Charlie was beside himself, I'd never seen - or imagined - him like this. He paced about the small room in the hospital, shifting from worried to angry and back again. Every now and then he'd mutter something, I couldn't hear what, so I just watched silently as thoughts of topaz eyes ran through my head.

They'd said I could go home soon, we were just waiting for the doctor to make it official. I slumped further as the doctor walked in, I realized I'd been hoping, somewhere in the back of my mind, that it'd be Carlisle that came. But it wasn't, he was gone, they all were.

The ride home in Charlie's cruiser was quiet, and tense. He'd asked me what I'd been thinking, what I was doing, but I hadn't answered, hadn't spoken since they'd found me. I didn't dare for fear that if I stopped concentrating for even a moment I'd lose him, his memory. Edward's eyes haunted me, and soothed me, I couldn't loose them.

Charlie helped me to my room, I was stiff, and cold still, making me clumsier than usual. I curled up on my bed, and he pulled the covers over me. He stroked my hair just once, lightly, before walking away. I think he may have stopped at the door to look back at me, but I'm not sure. My blankets smelled faintly of Edward, and I curled into them, enveloping myself in his scent. Alone, in the dark, with his scent around me, it wasn't hard to imagine he was there, lying with me again. I soon drifted off into a restless sleep.

* * *

The next few days drifted by in the background, I'd promised to look after myself, at least for Charlie's sake, so I tried. But my mind wasn't in it, my heart was gone, I didn't know where he'd taken it, but there was just an aching hole where once it had been.

Monday morning Charlie drove me to school, he didn't think I should drive, I agreed, mostly to avoid any problems or discussions. I didn't really care. My eyes were drawn to the empty spots in the car park, though I tried not to look, I wanted to think they were just off hunting, they'd be back tomorrow. The ache in my centre throbbed though, reminding me of the truth.

I barely noticed classes passing by, Jessica had tried talking to me, but I barely registered it, Angela at least had seen I needed space, or something, and had distracted her. She gave me a small sad smile, I'm not sure if I returned it though. So at lunch I sat at their table, our table, alone. I toyed with an apple and a bottle of water, but didn't really eat anything. At least Angela and Jessica kept the boys away.

The days passed, blended together, I stumbled through them, just doing, without thinking. At night I'd crawl into bed, his scent was fading, but I could still see his eyes when I closed mine. I kept dreaming that same moment, when he'd left, and would wake with a scream through the night, eventually Charlie stopped checking on me, it became routine, just part of the remains of the life I was in.

It couldn't last though, one day Charlie came in my room and handed me the phone. "This can't go on Bella, you should go home, call Renee."

"What?" I jumped up, probably the most active I'd been in weeks. It startled Charlie. "I am home." I insisted quietly, confused, was he trying to get rid of me?

Charlie sighed, but pressed on, "You need to get away, move on." He raised a hand to silence my reply, "I can't bare to see you go on like this, just... moping around all the time!"

"I'm not moping around." I frowned, I kind of was.

He grudgingly conceded though, "Wrong word. Moping would be better. You're just... lifeless, Bella. You're just going through the days, like you don't even notice them."

This accusation struck home. I sighed and tried to put some animation into my response.

"I'm sorry, Dad." It sounded flat, even to me. I thought I'd been fooling him. I slumped a little but tried not to show it, I'd wanted to keep him from suffering.

"I don't want you to apologize."

I sighed. "Then tell me what you want me to do."

"Bella," he hesitated, scrutinizing my reaction to his next words. "Honey, you're not the first person to go through this kind of thing, you know."

"I know that." I grimaced limply.

"Listen, honey. I think that - that maybe you need some help."

"Help?"

He paused for a moment, gathering his words. "I waited, hoping things would get better." He looked right at me, and I had to look away. "I think we both know it's not getting better."

"I'm fine." I mumbled, though it sounded weak.

He ignored me. "Maybe, well, maybe if you talked to someone, a professional, about it?"

I gasped and stuttered a bit, trying to get the myriad of thoughts out. "Look," I said eventually a bit flustered. "I think, I'll just..." I trailed off and thought for a moment. "I'll start driving myself to school again, and go out with Angela or something, maybe if I'm around friends more..." I trailed off again, the idea didn't sound all that interesting, but if it made him happier, maybe I could. He seemed to like the sound of it though.

"Alright," he agreed nodding faintly, "Just keep it mind, ok?"

"I will Dad." I gave him a quick hug, and dashed off to the bathroom before he could say anything else.

* * *

I sat in my truck for a few minutes on Monday morning, Charlie was still home. He said he had a late shift, but I felt like he just wanted to be sure I went to school.

The roar of the engine made me jump a little, but it was also soothing, simple. I pulled out on the road, and headed toward school, the green of the woods called to me as I drove. The silent reminder of that last day, last night, that I'd seen him. A sob caught in the back of my throat at the memory, and I saw the school, and the car park looked - felt - just as empty as it had the past few weeks. I faltered, I felt that pull again, from weeks ago, when I'd followed after Edward. Only now I had my truck, as I thought I should have then, I could do this. I wouldn't get stuck in the woods again. I'd find him.

I drove past the school, didn't even look, I still wasn't sure where I was going, but just followed the pull. Out through Port Angeles, I headed north, stopping for gas when I had to, but otherwise just driving. As I got further from Forks, the thread just seemed to pull me harder. I followed it blindly, compulsively, not seeing anything beyond the path it lead me on.

Without knowing where I was going, the border was a bit of a shock, pulling me out of myself, out of the thoughts of Edward. I found I had my passport, along with the sock full of money I'd been using for gas. I didn't remember packing either, but I must have known I'd need them, at some level.

It was dark and cold as I drove through Canada, my trucks ancient heater struggled along, barely warming me. The cold was comforting though, reminding me, soothing me. Brief thoughts of calling Charlie crossed my mind as I passed through little towns. The gas station didn't have a working phone though, so I shrugged it off. He'd be worried, but I'd get in touch when I got where I was going - where ever that was.

Only one thing stayed on the front of my mind, Edward. I could see his beautiful golden eyes again through the night, guiding me, watching me. The cool air bringing his breathe to me. I followed the pull.

Early morning brought me back to the US, as I sped through the dark snowy world of Alaska. I thought I knew where I was heading now, just faintly, the itch of forming awareness at the back of my mind.

I pulled off the highway in Fairbanks, something had changed, I couldn't feel the pull so much here, it was different. I went looking for a gas station, surely something was open. The glowing red and blue sign caught my attention, so I pulled in. I warmed my hands on the heater for a moment, before switching off the engine and pulling my coat tighter around me.

As I reached for the handle the door suddenly flew open, and I froze.

"Bella, what the hell are you doing here?" The bell like voice asked, as if she hadn't known I'd be here. I couldn't help myself, I pounced the dark haired pixie in front of me, hugging her as tight as I could.

"Alice!" I sobbed. "Don't do that again, don't leave."

It was only a moment later that I felt her fine cold arms returning the hug, "I won't, I promise." She whispered.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: It's only been a couple of hours since I posted Chapter 1, and already I've got a number of reviews and several people have favourited my little creation. Thankyou, all of you.**

**As a reward, here's chapter 2. I'm not entirely pleased with the way this flows in some places. But I can't really see where to change it, so to avoid being stuck on one spot too long I'm just going to post it and continue writting.**

I awoke to a dark room, feeling disoriented and a little lost. The cool arms wrapped around me soon brought back the memories of the day before though.

Alice had to pry me off her after a few minutes, I was cold, and her smooth cool skin wasn't helping. It had calmed me though, I looked at her with the first smile in what felt like years.

"Come on," she said, pulling me along, "let's get you warm. Jazz has got it." She added a moment later as I was about to ask about my truck, I looked over, and Jasper was there, filling the gas tank.

"Hi Jasper!" I called happily, it could have been Rosalie and I'd still have been happy to see her.

"Ma'am," he replied simply with a nod. He seemed happy though, picking up my mood no doubt. I smiled back at him as Alice opened the door of her shiny black car to let me in.

The car was warm, I hadn't realized just how cold I was till I got in. Alice walked around the car at quick-human pace, when she got in she had a big smile, which I matched.

"It's so good to see you again!" she bounced a little as she spoke, then gave me another quick hug and drove us out of the gas station. I had a moment of panic, thinking she was going to take me straight back to Forks.

"I'm taking you to our place, well, the Denali's," she said quickly, seeing the look on my face. "It's ok, I promised I wouldn't leave again, and I mean it," she added a moment later. "I know you've got questions, and I'll answer all I can. But first, what made you drive all the way up here in that beat up old truck?"

I frowned for a moment. But Alice giggled, "I know, don't hate the truck." She looked back at me though, waiting for an answer.

I sighed, "I just... I had to find him." I implored, the turned to look at her, "I mean, I just couldn't not come. I was driving to school, but when I got to the parking lot, I couldn't turn in. It was like something was pulling me away, I had to drive, I didn't even know where I was going at first, I just had to follow the pull."

She reached over, and gave my hand a squeeze. "I think I know that feeling," she smiled at me, "I spent years looking for Jasper, I just knew I had to find him."

I nodded, and drifted into thought. We drove along in comfortable silence for a little while.

"Why did you leave?" I asked in a small voice after a minute or so, "You didn't even say goodbye." The hurt showed in my voice.

Alice took a deep breathe, "I know, I'm sorry," she squeezed my hand again. "Edward was convinced you needed a clean break." She huffed, "I thought, we all did, that maybe he was right. Maybe it would be easiest, for you."

I thought about that, it sounded like something he'd say, even if it was wrong. Something he'd come up with to 'keep me safe', in his mind at least. "If I'd seen you, if I'd known, we could have talked him out of it." She nodded sadly.

"Where is he?" I finally asked. She didn't answer right away, which worried me, "Alice? Where..." a hint of panic sneaked into my voice.

"I don't know." She said simply, locking eyes with me as she spoke. "He said he needed to get away for a while. He calls every now and then, but doesn't say where he is, he's just drifting, he's not deciding where to go, so I can't see." She turned back to focus on driving.

It was quiet again, but not comfortable this time. I watched the brightening snowy landscape pass by out the window.

"I have to find him Alice." I stated, demanded.

"I know." And I could feel it in her words, she really did know.

"I..." I started to speak, but saw her lose focus and stopped, then reached over to grab the wheel. But she brushed me off.

"No, it's ok, I'm fine."

"What did you see?" I asked, she frowned, just a little, if I didn't know her I wouldn't have seen it, but I did. "Alice?" I pushed.

"You'll find him." She answered simply.

"But?" I asked, warily, I could see she wasn't telling me something.

"We're almost there," she didn't answer, as we turned into a wooded drive way. "Carlisle and Esme are here, you'll see them," she added warmly. The drive way was familiar, yet different. Alice took my hand again, "let me talk to Carlisle first, go see Esme, she'll introduce you to the others. I promise I'll answer you, I just have to do this first."

I nodded, and she squeezed my hand as we pulled into the big garage behind the house. Esme was there in a flash, opening my door and pulling me into a hug. I felt safe, and loved, Esme always had that effect on me.

"Bella," she asked, kindly as ever, "how are you? You had me worried out of my mind when Alice said she saw you up here." I smiled a little, her voice had a slight edge to it, but there was love there. Like a mother who'd found a lost child.

"Sorry," I whispered, knowing she'd hear me just fine. "I just couldn't help myself. I knew I'd find someone here, somehow."

She released me from the hug, and stroked my hair faintly. "Let's get you inside. You must be tired."

I followed Esme out of the garage, and around to the house. It wasn't quite as big as the house in Forks, 2 storeys, but the snow gave it a certain feel. It felt like a home, too, just as the big house on the meadow did.

"Not really," I answered, "it'll hit me sometime though."

Esme smiled warmly again, and introduced me around to Tanya, Kate, Carmen, and Eleazer when we entered the house. They welcomed me to their home, and Tanya said she'd prepared a bed for me, knowing I'd need sleep. I looked between then and thanked them all. They were, of course, all stunningly beautiful, with the distinctive golden eyes of 'vegetarians'.

I sat down in a sofa by the fire, Esme asked if I wanted something to eat. Initially I said no, but when she asked if I was sure I realized she wanted to do this. Some mothering instinct no doubt, so I smiled a little and thanked her, and she shot off into the kitchen as Alice and Carlisle appeared.

Alice danced over and sat beside me.

"How are you Bella?" Carlisle asked in his eternally calm voice. I gave him a small smile.

"Better now, thank you." I assured him, as he sat down in a nearby chair.

"You should probably sleep soon," he suggested kindly after a moment. I nodded politely as Esme handed me a sandwich.

"Not just yet." I replied softly, looking to Alice expectantly. But it was Carlisle that spoke.

"Alice says you've come to a decision?" He asked curiously, though it seemed Alice and he already knew. I heard the roar of my truck pulling in outside, and nodded faintly.

"You all know what I want," I stated simply, looking between them. Alice and Esme smiled at me, Carlisle nodded knowingly. "It seems," I continued after a moment, "I won't see Edward for a little while. So there's no point in waiting, the sooner I'm changed the better." Alice squeezed my hand, and a moment later Jasper was standing by the fireplace. I looked up at him, he was keeping his distance, but trying not to show it.

"And I don't blame you Jasper, I know it wasn't your fault." I gave him a reassuring smile, "I wanted this long before then." He nodded, but looked away. I took a bite of the sandwich.

"She's right Jazz," Alice spoke up, "I've always seen her as one of us, even when we left." She raised a delicate eyebrow teasingly, "she's just going to push for it more now."

I nodded with a mouthful of sandwich, I hadn't realized how hungry I was till I started eating. Alice giggled.

"Give us a few days, Bella." Carlisle responded, reaching out to pat my hand comfortingly, "We just got you back." he smiled some more.

"He's not saying no," Jasper suddenly spoke up as Carlisle's words sunk in, "I can feel it, you'll do anything to make it happen. We all want you to be as safe as possible." He finished solemnly.

I finished my sandwich, and nodded, "Thankyou." I replied, stifling a yawn.

"Come on," Alice tugged on my hand, "I'll show you were you can sleep."

I suspected Jasper of helping with my sudden tiredness, but I really didn't mind. So I said good night to them all, and let Alice pull me along up the stairs.

"It's the guest room." She said as she showed me into the simply decorated room. I changed into a t-shirt and sweats she said were for me, and climbed into the bed.

"Alice?" I asked as she was about to leave. She smiled and nodded.

"You want me to stay," she answered, I nodded weakly. "It's ok, we'll be here when you wake." She tucked the blanket around me, then layed on top, wrapping her arms around me.

"Thanks Alice," I whispered.

"It's ok, I'll stay here, get some sleep."

I drifted off almost immediately into the first restful sleep I'd had in weeks.

-

I awoke to a dark room, feeling disoriented and a little lost. The cool arms wrapped around me brought back the memories of the day before though. I relaxed back and smiled, Alice stiffened a little behind me.

"Bella?" Her voice chimed out curiously after a moment, "what did you just decide?" I squeezed her hand and nodded faintly.

I wouldn't be sleeping again.

Ever.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you again to those who have reviewed/favourited my little puddle of words, it really means a lot to me.**

**So here's Chapter 3, they won't be coming as fast as this from now on, as I'm now caught up just about to where I've written. So the rest of the chapters will be posted as I write them.**

**I've just run through and edited this. It was written at stupid o'clock in the morning, and it showed.**

After taking a 'human moment' in the bathroom, I had a small argument with Alice over what to wear; my clothes had mysteriously gone missing through the night. Eventually though, I followed the scent of bacon and eggs downstairs in a somewhat casual skirt and blouse that neither of us had found too objectionable.

I found Esme and Tanya in the kitchen, Esme was just putting my breakfast on a plate while Tanya watched on; she looked a little amused and perhaps intrigued by the unusual - for this house - activity. Esme set the plate in front of me as I took a seat at the small counter.

"Good morning Bella," she greeted me warmly. I glanced at the clock and her smile grew in amusement. It was just after 2, though it was morning. She hugged me from behind.

"Thanks Esme," I replied with a smile forming to match hers, "this smells great." Having barely eaten in the past day, I dug into the meal eagerly. Esme kept up a stream of conversation as I ate, Alice adding to it when she came in a few minutes later. It was just little things mostly. That Emmett and Rosalie were away in Africa, due to the small house, Alice's dislike of the minimal shopping opportunities nearby, and so on. No one mentioned their leaving, or anything unpleasant at all. Not until I'd finished eating, anyway.

"I'm sorry." Esme said simply as I finished the last of the toast. I looked at her, and I was certain there'd have been tears in her eyes, if it were possible.

"We all are Bella," Carlisle spoke from behind me as he came in to the room. I gave them all a reassuring smile.

"It's ok, I know you meant well." I sighed, and looked down at my empty plate. "I just don't belong there, I had to follow." I turned around and look up at Carlisle, "I know where I belong."

He smiled and took a seat at the head of the table. "There are some things you need to consider," he started, looking at me as calm as ever, but more serious than usual. "Alice said you wanted to be changed today. If you're sure?" He paused.

"Yes," I replied straight away, I'd already decided, I didn't need to think about it at all. My heart pounded from the nerves, and I'm sure they all could hear it. No one commented though, Alice took my hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"Ok." Carlisle nodded, before continuing. "There's a few things though, such as your family." I swallowed the lump that was suddenly in my throat, but he continued. "Do you want to call Charlie? Let him know where you are? That you're ok?" I looked away, out the window thinking. "Either that or just let him think you disappeared. Which ever you decide to do, you won't be able to see him, not safely, for several months, maybe years."

If ever. Though Carlisle didn't say it, I knew it was there.

"Most of what you know about us is only because we've had years to learn control. But as a newborn your thirst will be extremely difficult to control. Don't be surprised if you can't be around humans for quite some time, and even then, only for short periods. It's not easy Bella, nor is it particularly comfortable. It takes time." He smiled softly at me, as I turned to look at him. "I'm not trying to talk you out of it, you just need to know what to expect."

I nodded. I'd known this of course, from talking with Edward, and Alice, since I'd met them. Talking about it like this though, knowing this was me they were talking about, what I had to expect in the coming months, or years. I wondered for a moment if the time would seem like anything at all, once I had all of forever in front of me. But there was still Charlie, and Renee, would I ever be able to see them again? My stomach turned nervously, it didn't seem likely, but maybe...

"I could send letters." I sort of half asked as I turned back to look at Carlisle. "Maybe that would be better, even if I never see them again. At least Charlie would know that I'm ok, that I'm happy." Carlisle nodded.

"It could work, if that's what you want to do." He agreed, I nodded.

"So..." I started, but Carlisle raised a hand and I trailed off.

"You don't need to be in a hurry Bella." He said simply, and I frowned a little till Alice spoke to me with her cheerful bell like voice.

"Bella, he just means, is there anything you want to do today? Something you won't be able to do again? Like eat a favourite food, or go see a movie even, you won't be able to do that for a while." I turned to her as she spoke, eyes wide, happy, hopeful.

"You want to take me shopping don't you?" I accused, she smiled wide. Carlisle and Jasper chuckled at us, and I heard a snort of amusement from somewhere in the house.

"Well," she said after a moment, "you can't keep borrowing clothes, not if you're going to be here for a while. So we should do it now." She had a point, but spending my last day as a human shopping didn't sound all that great to me. Eventually though, after a few more convincing arguments, and a promise that we wouldn't spend the whole day trying on clothes, I agreed.

That still left a few hours to fill though, the sun wasn't even up yet.

* * *

"Hello Bella," a familiar, if not entirely welcoming, voice spoke as I sat watching TV while waiting till it was late enough to head in to Fairbanks. I turned to look into the dark eyes, and my heart thudded in my chest.

"Laurent." I gasped out his name, not daring to blink. He smiled, or tried to, though it didn't ease my nerves at all.

"Don't worry," he spoke as Alice suddenly appeared beside me. "I promise I mean you no harm." I looked at Alice, she smiled faintly and nodded, I took a deep breath. "I came here after I last saw you," he turned his head with a smile to the woman beside him. I hadn't noticed her before, with the shock of seeing him. "Irena convinced me to stay, and I am most happy to." He raised her hand to his lips, she smiled lovingly at him and looked like she would have blushed if she could have.

"I've been keeping my distance since you arrived, the diet here takes a little getting used to, as I've heard you'll be finding out soon. But it is worth it, I believe." I nodded, he continued, "I just thought it would be best if you knew I was here now, I didn't fancy being attacked by a frightened newborn in a few days." I turned away from him, but nodded in understanding.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"You're welcome," he replied, sincerely. Then added, "We are going away till tomorrow, I don't think I should be here when you are bitten. But I look forward to seeing you again in a few days. I suspect you shall be even more beautiful when I see you next." I blushed a deep crimson, he chuckled, and I think I heard Irena elbow him in the ribs. And then they were gone.

"We should get going soon," Alice said after a few seconds, giving my hand another squeeze. "The stores will be open by the time we get there. Do you need to do anything first? A human moment?" She asked with amusement clear in her voice.

It took a few minutes for us, or me at least, to get ready. Then before long we were in the car speeding away to Fairbanks.

* * *

"Alice, stop, wait!" I called as she whisked me along gleefully into yet another little boutique I would not have believed could be found in Fairbanks if I wasn't being dragged into it. Amazingly she stopped, and looked at me. "The human needs food and rest." I reminded her, slightly demanding, even if I was tired. She blinked at me for a moment.

"Oh, sorry." She smiled again, "where do you want to go?" I sighed.

"Can we just sit in the car for a while and find somewhere for me to eat?"

"Sure," she allowed, then pulled me along at a more reasonable pace to her car. I was ever so happy to just flop into the seat when we got there and rest my poor feet.

"Do you ever get sore feet, or anything?" I asked after a moment. Alice look at me, shaking her head, she giggled a little.

"Not unless someone rips it off." I winced, I didn't even want to think about how that would feel. Alice took my hand and gave it a little squeeze. "So what would you like to eat?" She changed the subject. I sighed again.

"I don't know, you wouldn't by some chance know somewhere nice?" I asked with a faint smile. She thought about it for a few seconds.

"Actually, I think I might." I looked at her slightly stunned.

"Really?"

"Yeah, do you want Italian?" She asked, "you don't have to, you can have anything you want."

"No, that sounds great." I replied with a smile after a little thought. Alice bounced a little in her chair and started the car.

* * *

"Gambardella's Pasta Bella," I read the sign on the front of the restaurant with some amusement. Alice giggled. "It's fitting for my last meal I guess." I added as we got out of the car. Alice nodded a little sadly at that.

I ended up ordering the Fettuccine Alfredo with mushrooms, Alice ordered some Focaccia bread, which surprised me.

"I'll just tear it up into bits, and you can have some, they'll never notice." She answered my unasked question, I nodded, it made sense.

* * *

I'd eaten everything on my plate, and some of Alice's bread. I was stuffed, and wanted a nap. Alice however had talked me into going to a movie, I really wouldn't have a clue what it was about. One thing was on my mind the whole time: I was going to die tonight.

"Carlisle and I are going for a quick hunt when we get back," Alice told me as we drove up the driveway, I took a deep breath and nodded.

"Ok."

"He'll do it, but I'll be there." She told me, "I promised I wouldn't leave you, and I won't through this." She took my hand and gave it a squeeze as we pulled into the garage.

"Thanks Alice." I smiled at her gratefully.

* * *

Esme had been trying to keep me preoccupied with anything and everything throughout the afternoon. It hadn't really worked though, I was nervous about tonight, I remembered when James had bitten me in Phoenix. And now I'd asked to go through that for several days.

"It'll be ok," Esme reassured me for the umpteenth time as she hugged me.

"I know, I still want this." I whispered into her shoulder, "I remember it though, the pain. I think that's the worst part, knowing what's coming for the next few days." She stroked my hair.

"I've got an idea for that actually," Carlisle's voice called from the front door. Alice was right behind him, their eyes were bright and golden. "I set things up while you and Alice were out today," he continued, "I'll give you some morphine first, it should help numb the pain some." He smiled at me. I smiled back.

"Thank you." I said simply, I felt better, not much, but it was enough. "So..." Alice interrupted me though.

"One last thing Bella," she said as Jasper and Tanya came into the room. "We want to get some before pictures," she finished. I noticed Tanya had a camera in her hand, and cringed a little, I'd never liked having my picture taken. But there was no point arguing, and it did seem like a good idea, so we spent the next few minutes taking pictures of me. Alone, with everyone, with each of them, with Esme and Carlisle.

I didn't noticed that Alice's idea of taking pictures of me in different parts of the house was gradually moving me toward the guest room. So by the time I was there, and realized, I was calm and happy. So when Carlisle spoke, I didn't tense up as much as I had been earlier.

"I'll give you the morphine first Bella," he said, slipping into doctor mode, "and give it a few minutes to get to work."

"Ok," I replied simply, my stomach had knotted up again. Alice helped me lay on the bed. Carlisle looked at me seriously.

"Now Bella," he started, "are you absolutely..."

"Yes." I interrupted. Alice giggled, Carlisle smiled and nodded. I felt a small prick in my arm, and before too long I was numb all over. Carlisle gave Alice a significant look, and I felt her squeeze my hand through the numbness that had enveloped me. Carlisle's face appeared above mine.

"Last chance Bella," he stated simply. I concentrated all I could and uttered a single word.

"Bite." He nodded again, and brought his mouth down to my neck. I barely felt it when he broke the skin, just a slight tug. I smiled, the morphine seemed to be working.

Then the burning started, and this time, it didn't stop.

**A/N: Gambardella's Pasta Bella does actually exist in Fairbanks, I found it while web searching for somewhere appropriate, and figured it fit perfectly.**


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